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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24726376">Hollow</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/huhhh/pseuds/huhhh'>huhhh</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW Comics), Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal, Feral Behavior, Heavy Angst, Introspection, M/M, Porn With Plot, Post-Sonic Forces, Reflection, Rough Sex, Size Difference, Zombots (Sonic the Hedgehog)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:07:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,630</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24726376</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/huhhh/pseuds/huhhh</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>(A more indepth, and Vecpio flavored look at the events of the IDW zombot arc from Espio's POV. Chapter 1 can be read as a stand-alone and is completely SFW. Chapter 2 contains continued Espio introspect and a NSFW portion which the second half of the tags apply to.)</p><p>Espio reflects on the turns of events in the world since his relationship with Vector started. It seemed like everything was against them, and Espio feels like his selfishness is part of the reason why. Which would be the first to crumble- Espio's pride, or everything in the world that matters to him?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Espio the Chameleon/Vector the Crocodile</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Hollow</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This story takes place right after issue #22 in the IDW sonic, and follows up until #28 when Espio confronts Zazz (which still hasn't been released yet while I'm writing this, but I wanted to post the first half of this story before it did anyway). I didn't want to bore the reader too much by recapping the entire comic within the story, but I tried to drop some context here and there for anyone who hasn't read them so it still makes sense. </p><p>This fic is just me taking advantage of story in the comic and what it would be if it were Vecpio. Because this chapter is mostly reflection, flashbacks are woven into the narrative. Also thank you so much for my beta readers helping with edits!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It’s been hard for Espio to meditate lately. The whole point of it was to separate oneself from the world around them, and lock themselves into a state of pure concentration on everything and nothing at the same time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No matter how hard he tried to clear his mind and concentrate on a calm energy, a corner of his brain remained a rattling white noise. It would grow louder and louder until Espio could no longer push it back and he had to start over. Over and over he had to focus on his deep breathing, find his center and try to clear his mind. But that tiny corner continuously refused to cease its buzzing, and for what felt like </span>
  <em>
    <span>hours</span>
  </em>
  <span> Espio would repeat the cycle.  The restoration shuttle's engine could be felt humming through the floor panels Espio had seated himself on, interrupting him between the cycles...bringing the chameleon back to reality.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slowly opens his eyes and stares listlessly ahead of him, unable to concentrate on anything except for the humming. His usually sharp, golden eyes were dull and filmy, as if he were unable to shake the lull of sleep from them. An empty sadness from the pit of his heart had seeped through the rest of his body and rendered him numb. No matter how much he tried to focus on other things he couldn't bury the feeling of utter despair that burrowed itself into him and refused to let go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a sigh, he pushes himself up from the floor and strides over to the closest window. The lights were off in the room, so Espio could see through the glass clearly and into the night. Down below he could see what remained of a small town. The only way he could recognize it as such were the mass of tiny red pinpricks glowing like a horde of fire ants that clambered and moved against each other like a festering wound. The infected fields surrounding the village had an ominous metallic sheen from the reflection of the moon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Espio slams the side of his fist against the glass as his expression pulls into a snarl. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It's that damn hedgehog's fault, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he thinks fiercely. A moment later Espio realizes what he was doing and closes his eyes to try and rationalize the situation. The last thing he expected himself to do was to disparage Sonic, but the feelings of anger and betrayal kept simmering over any loyalty he had towards the blue blur. But the same thought kept coming back to him; </span>
  <em>
    <span>If we had just taken care of the doctor when we had the chance…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I am being selfish,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he tries to reason as his brows tilt up. A blanket of sorrow suddenly washes over him, and he feels aimless. Was he doomed to feel like this anytime he was expected to go with what was 'right', or whatever force kept the world at peace?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Espio couldn't help but notice the coincidence of anything going right in his life had the opposite effect on the world around him. As soon as they had secured Charmy </span>
  <em>
    <span>safely, </span>
  </em>
  <span>some invalid carrying the virus thought it wise to sneak aboard a Restoration shuttle and selfishly infect hundreds of others, including Vector….</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Espio feels a sting of pressure behind his eyes and he forces himself to crinkle his nose into a sneer. Even though no tears fall, the ninja scrubs a hand over his eyes. He would be lying if he said he wasn't slightly disgusted with himself. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Selfish</span>
  </em>
  <span>” was the word he just used to describe himself before, and here he was carelessly tossing the word upon another as if he were above them. And what gave him the right to do that? That person just didn't want to be alone, yet isn't that what Espio was now? Even as a survivor, his family was gone; Charmy and Vector, the two in the world closest to him. He's never felt so alone than he did right at this moment.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe this was why the ninja path has chosen him; anytime he wished for tangible happiness, -</span>
  <em>
    <span>allowing himself to slip-,</span>
  </em>
  <span> fate had a way to humble him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After all, what he had allowed himself to indulge in was a result of giving into his selfish desires.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So much had happened in the past seven months, Espio allows his memories to take over as he closes his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can barely remember how it started, the high of the confrontation fogging the details… but somehow he and Vector had discovered they held feelings for each other and through the heated clash of tongues and teeth they decided to escalate their relationship to the next step. Barely even </span>
  <em>
    <span>days</span>
  </em>
  <span> after that happened, Espio remembers getting the call from Tails to inform them that Sonic had been captured by Eggman and a war had begun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They hadn't been able to enjoy any semblance of a normal relationship before the responsibilities of strategizing battle plans and mere survival became priorities. Espio was frequently sent out on recon missions to scout areas and track Eggman's movements while Vector's leadership skills were necessary at HQ. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both of them were lucky if they had a moment to tuck into bed together before passing out from exhaustion. It wasn’t uncommon for one of them to have to stay out late for an extended night shift while other times had one waking up first to leave during early hours. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Espio had been curled up against Vector's chest, the crocodile's muscular arm wrapped around him protectively. Espio hadn't been able to sleep that night and had been wide awake for hours.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Es, go to sleep."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The chameleon nearly leapt out of his skin, not expecting Vector to be awake this late, especially when the crocodile had just pulled a double shift bashing in badniks on the front lines. He restrained himself from looking over his shoulder and focused on calming his breathing. That didn’t fool the detective, however. Vector grunted again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yer thinkin so loud I can’t sleep either."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Espio opened his mouth to reply but then silently closed it again. "Hm. Apologies."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vector sighed behind him and Espio could feel the heat of his breath against his scales. He stiffened for the question he knew was coming.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s eatin’ ya? I mean,” A yawn interrupted Vector before he continued, “besides bein’ at war with some kook shaped like an egg.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Espio let out a short breath through his nose, already locking up, “It’s nothing everyone else isn’t already worried about.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vector suddenly rolled on top of Espio and pinned him down by the wrists. Espio was so taken aback at how </span>
  <em>
    <span>awake </span>
  </em>
  <span>Vector actually was, he could only stare up wide-eyed in surprise.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Listen, Es. I’ve known you long enough ta know yer your own worst enemy. You get trapped in that head of yers and won’t let anyone see how much yer hurtin’.” Vector’s stare narrowed down at him and Espio quickly looked away and clamped his eyes shut. Those sharp eyes Vector possessed always seemed to dig right into him and read him like a god damn book. It was infuriating in moments like these when Espio just wanted to curl up and be hidden from the world. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Es…”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Espio opened his eyes when he felt Vector’s hand gently caress his cheek, his touch being as soft as his voice. Espio slowly looked back to his partner, not even realizing that he had turned invisible from the need to disappear. “...Sorry.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once Vector was able to see Espio again, he sighed and relaxed his grip on the hand still pinning Espio to the bed. “C’mon. Yer gonna hafta learn how to open up to me. It kinda goes hand in hand with the meetin’ half-way thing.” Espio only responded with a puzzled look and Vector continued with a sigh, “It’s the thing that’s a given when you’re in a relationship with someone.” </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vector could feel Espio relax under his grip and he leaned forward to press a gentle kiss to the top of Espio’s brow. Espio closed his eyes and let out a sigh, leaning into the gesture and nuzzling back with his horn grazing the side of Vector’s snout. He wished he could just melt and end the conversation here, but he knew Vector wouldn’t let it go.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“C’mon...talk to me.” Vector moved his kisses down the side of Espio’s face and the chameleon huffed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a few more seconds of defiance, Espio finally muttered, “It’s just… I somehow feel like this is all my fault.” </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Vector pulled away slightly to give Espio a look, “Whaddya talkin’ about?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Espio let out a loud breath, already regretting the words that were about to spill out of his mouth, “Everything. Sonic being captured and held prisoner. Eggman taking over because of it and sending the world into a state of absolute turmoil.” Espio’s eyes squeezed tighter as he continued. “I don’t think any action of mine </span>
  <em>
    <span>directly </span>
  </em>
  <span>caused all of this...but it feels like it is my fate to always stay vigilant on the path I was raised for. The solidarity arts of the shinobi disallows any distractions, my chosen path was dedicated to helping the world stay safe. And since gaining the distraction of </span>
  <em>
    <span>us…</span>
  </em>
  <span> the universe has decided to punish the world around me until I am set back on how things </span>
  <em>
    <span>used</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Espio cracked open an eye to peer above him, “Does that make sense?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The laugh that came from Vector was unexpected, and Espio’s eyes widened with a look of bewilderment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“W-what?” Espio’s brow furrowed and he pushed one of his hands on Vector’s chest to unsuccessfully shove him off. “You’re going to wake the others.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chaos, even when you think the universe revolves around ya, you somehow manage to do it in the most modest way possible.” </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Excuse me</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Espio felt his face fume red.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vector shook his head, the grin still on his face, “You really think that after all these years, all the times that Egghead has tried to take over the world, this time he actually succeeded cause</span>
  <em>
    <span> you</span>
  </em>
  <span> decided to try n’ enjoy life a little?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, now when you say it like that I suppose I do feel rather...big-headed... for thinking that way.” Espio still felt the heat on his cheeks as he wrapped his arms around Vector’s neck and looked away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Heh, don’t get me wrong, Es. I think the world of ya, but unfortunately what I think ain’t universal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Espio responded with a small sound of acknowledgement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ya have a problem with carryin’ guilt, and wishin’ ya coulda done more. It’s a hero thing, I get it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Everyone</span>
  </em>
  <span> feels like they coulda done more to stop what happened to Sonic. But it happened n’ there’s nothin’ that can be done about it now except let Eggman know we ain’t to be taken lightly.” Vector’s large hand moved to carass Espio’s side, trying to comfort him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All Espio could think about was how easily the croc could wrap that hand around his entire body, and hold him down like the many times before…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ahh-yes, you’re right!” Espio said a little too quickly, keeping his face hidden against Vector’s neck. What was wrong with him? Why was he thinking of a thing like </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> at a time like </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>? “Sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was more that Espio could have said to Vector if he hadn’t just embarrassed himself with lewd thoughts. It just proved to Espio that no matter how hard he tried to fight it, overall he was selfish with his own desires even when they were put up against the fate of the world.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without Sonic at their side, morale had been low and their efforts at holding back Eggman’s armies of badniks weren’t exactly resulting in favorable results. Espio knew Vector was just trying to reassure him, it was something that his partner was always good at. It was another reason why he was such a good leader. And even if it was a false hope, Espio would cling to it if it meant he could be with his family through it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Espio’s fingers tightened around the links of Vector’s chain as he wrapped his legs around the croc’s waist, bringing the both of them closer. Espio turned his head to kiss his partner’s cheek and Vector’s heat enveloped him once more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Espio would give up everything he had now to just go back to that moment. Back before he had to worry about his loved ones becoming infected and turning into monsters with no cure. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hollow stare catches his own eye in the reflection of the shuttle window and he realizes he’s starting to not recognize himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Who was he kidding… he didn’t even have anything </span>
  <em>
    <span>left</span>
  </em>
  <span> to give up at this point. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He lost everything. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both of them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His family. His son. Charmy. Vector...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Espio’s hand finds itself reaching out towards his reflection, finding the empty space beside him unfamiliar. His fingertips feel the glass and he spreads his palm against it. Its smooth,cold surface did nothing but remind him of how alone he felt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vector had been right about what he said, although the tides only turned once the resistance was reunited with Sonic, they had prevailed against Eggman and entered a brief moment of peace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>During those three months, Espio believed that he really had just been overthinking about what his fate had in store for him. Vector and Charmy had been with him, and things settled down to how they used to be. Overdue bills and all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking back now, Espio felt like an idiot for believing it really could have stayed that simple.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Or at least they </span>
  <em>
    <span>could</span>
  </em>
  <span> have, if it hadn't been for Sonic. Sonic and his asinine decision to allow the doctor to roam free. Not even a week later the same village they found Mr. Tinker in was covered with infectious goop and crawling with zombots. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At that point it just turned into another one of Eggman’s schemes. Another adventure the Chaotix would be dragged into alongside Sonic and his gang. Usually one without pay on top of that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were the heroes, the team that led the resistance and saved the world. Sure, Espio knew they’d be on the front lines, but he didn’t think any of them would be foolish enough to get infected. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sonic - of all people - was the first to contract the virus. After that, things suddenly got very real, very fast. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a frantic rush to find a cure, save survivors, and keep them safe from the zombots trying to spread their disease. Team Chaotix didn't even think twice about helping everyone to safety when their own city had become overrun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe the fact that Charmy was only a child kept him from fully understanding the gravity of the situation. Maybe that’s why he didn’t listen to Vector and split off from their group to try and save that infected girl.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vector and Espio had to put their selfishness on hold, waiting until the survivors were rounded up and safe behind the shuttle doors before doubling back to comb the city for Charmy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had been trekking through Central City for at least an hour now, looking for any sign of the bee. The zombots were scattered through the streets, paying no heed to the both of them as they snuck their way past. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the outside, they told each other they would find him safe, how they knew Charmy would be smart and take advantage of his wings like they taught him. That he would stay safe and hidden from the hoards until they could locate him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The containment capsule under Vector's arm was just a precaution. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was easier to hold onto the false hope than admit what they both feared. The double-edged sword that came with being a hero meant being strong for those around you and believing in something you knew had no hope of being true. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The war with Eggman proved how valuable morale was to a world on the brink of doom. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Espio suddenly slowed to a stop and fell behind as Vector continued forward down the street. His eyes were glued to the ground in front of him as a wave of guilt began to sink in. “It’s my fault…” Espio grit through his teeth, shutting his eyes and clenching his fists at his side. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wha? What are you talkin’ about?” Vector stopped in his tracks and turned to face Espio. The tone of his voice had suddenly turned gravely serious. Espio could tell he wasn't in the mood for bullshit but he didn't care.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Charmy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Espio could hear Vector’s heavy footsteps shift and double back to him until he felt the crocodile’s presence stop in front of him. “What the fuck are you talkin’ about?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I let him get away when he ran from the shuttle,” Espio pulled the roped kunai from his gauntlet, remembering how he missed the bee when trying to lasso him in with it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The tension in Vector’s shoulders relaxed and he reached out to place a hand on Espio's shoulder. "You can't blame yerself for that. It was a freak incident, the last thing these zombots are is predictable." He moved the side of his finger under Espio's chin and tilted it up. "There wasn't anythin' ya coulda done. The kid has wings, if he wants to get somewhere, like hell we could’ve done anythin' to stop him." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No," Espio shook his head, pulling from Vector's hand. "I felt the panic set in. If I had just taken a moment longer and aimed properly I could have reached him."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vector huffed, "Yer lettin' yer pride eat at you again, Es. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>told</span>
  </em>
  <span> ya there's-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No!" Espio moved away from Vector's hand. There was a heat in his glare that burned through Vector. "</span>
  <em>
    <span>You</span>
  </em>
  <span> are always insistent on protecting me. I don't need to be protected. I don't </span>
  <em>
    <span>need</span>
  </em>
  <span> you to coddle my mistakes."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vector's brow furrowed together, and a frown further pulled at his features while he lowered his hand to his side. Espio was always fascinated by how intimidating Vector could look when he simply shifted to the other side of the argument.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This better not be that shit about the whole world fallin’ apart jus’ because we’re screwin’.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Espio felt a sting at his heart and heat on his face as he glared. “You wouldn’t understand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vector let out an exasperated sigh and then held his arm out, “Then tell me what good yer doin’ feelin’ sorry for yerself. You think we all don’t feel bad for the shit we could have done differently? In fact, I could jump two steps in front of ya and say it’s my fault Charmy even </span>
  <em>
    <span>ran</span>
  </em>
  <span> away to begin with. Remember, he wanted to save that broad </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> quarantined back in the streets. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yer not gonna be any use to Charmy, me, </span>
  <em>
    <span>or</span>
  </em>
  <span> anyone else if you keep thinkin’ you’re the only one who has to hold everything up on their shoulders durin’ this shit show.” This time Vector managed to grab Espio by the shoulder and hold him in place, “We’re all in this together.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Espio didn’t respond, only clenched his fists even tighter and tried to remain calm. Seeing this only frustrated Vector enough to continue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Es! Look at me! None of this is </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> fault! You’re better than this self-pity crap, I know you are!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Espio just shook his head, any words he was preparing to say suddenly disintegrated in his throat. Here was Vector again, reassuring him. Bringing him back down to earth. Saving him from himself and his self-destructive thoughts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hated it. He hated how Vector could always see right through him and call him out on his bullshit. What made it worse was that it was the type of bullshit that Espio was feeding himself. It filled in every fracture of Espio’s mind until he was trapped and couldn’t get out until Vector reached in and dug him out of it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Espio’s teeth were clenched and he couldn’t bring himself to look at the croc. His hand holding the kunai was shaking from how hard his hand was fisted around its handle. He didn’t even know that he was crying until he felt the hot tears trail down his muzzle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When his legs gave out from under him he crumpled forward into Vector's chest, who immediately wrapped his massive arm around him. All at once it felt like the world was crumbling under his feet and he was slipping through. Vector’s arms were the only place he felt safe from it- he just needed to hold on to the one thing he had left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course Vector felt the need to protect him when all Espio was doing was hurting himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>However, their shared moment didn't last long, and they quickly broke apart when a familiar buzzing reached their ears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's- that's Charmy," Espio said, quickly wiping his face with the back of his hand. He blinked hard to clear his vision, scouring the cityscape feverishly through the burn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shh," Vector's hushed tone made Espio reel around. The first thing he noticed was Vector's finger moving from his lips to point in the distance, "There he is." Espio followed Vector's stare and noticed a small orange figure, bumbling through the air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At first Espio thought it could have been the tears from before that made Charmy's body to glisten within his vision. But with each passing second, there was no doubt of the hard sheen now covering the entire bee's body, apart from the glowing red eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Charmy's movements were clumsy- almost drunken, and the small bee swayed side to side as if his own weight was throwing off his trajectory. However, the most noticeable and odd thing about the zombot was</span>
  <em>
    <span> that he didn't seem to acknowledge either of them</span>
  </em>
  <span>. A zombot that sensed them from this distance would already be honing in on them for the attack. The bee, however, droned on as if it hadn't seen either him or Vector.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Espio focused his gaze on Charmy, reaching his energy out to try and feel Charmy’s spirit. Being able to sense certain energies and auras was a skill Espio had been practicing since he started his shinobi training. Meditating was what helped immensely in understanding the ability. Without even realizing it, the presence of his teammates had become the most stable grounding in his environment- becoming part of his </span>
  <em>
    <span>own</span>
  </em>
  <span> energy. He was never without them, and the family the Chaotix had formed had stuck with him longer than anyone else in his life. Not even his blood family could compare to the warmth and homeyness he's felt with Charmy and Vector.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To Espio's fear, the zombee's energy resembled enough of Charmy's footprint that Espio could recognize him as such. But it was so distorted that Espio pulled away with a sharp gasp, causing Vector to give him a questioning look. It felt like someone had taken Charmy's soul, torn it into pieces and then tried shoving them back in the wrong order. It was… disturbing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Espio dismissed Vector with a quick shake of his head and then raised his kunai, unraveling the rope from his bracer. "We should capture him before we gain the attention of any nearby infected." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vector nodded and started moving to the other side of Charmy in a wide arc, hoping to sneak up from behind once Espio got a hold of him. Charmy continued to ignore them, and it was humiliating at how easy it was for Espio to lasso him with the rope and pull him to the ground. Vector was on top of Charmy with the capsule in no time at all, and was careful not to touch him as he scooped him up and sealed the lid on top. It was over frighteningly fast, and the two reptiles were left with plenty of adrenaline pumping through their veins as the dust settled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vector let out a breath, "Huh, that was…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Underwhelming," Espio supplied in a dry tone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yea! Exactly," Vector scratched the top of his head as he looked at the captured Chaotix member that he held in his other palm. "He ain't puttin' up much of a fight even now."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was true. The bee looked sleepy if anything, his face pressed against the glass and his droopy eyelids threatening to fall shut.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For a split second Espio felt his heart crack, and his brows tilted up. He was reminded of the stormy nights when a frightened Charmy would sneak into his bed and curl up at his side shivering. There Espio would soothe him by rubbing his back and assuring him that the thunder was nothing to be afraid of, how Vector and himself would be there to protect him. No matter what. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was funny to imagine Charmy afraid of such a thing when </span>
  <em>
    <span>now,</span>
  </em>
  <span> not even a few hours ago, he charged headfirst into a mob of mindless zombots to save someone else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The slight twitch of emotion that strained Espio's expression didn't escape Vector's notice, and the croc reached over to place a large hand on Espio's shoulder, "C'mon. Let's head back."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was supposed to be the worst of it. Looking back, Espio felt a fool assuming such a thing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After all, they found Charmy and had him safe with them for whenever Tails came up with a vaccine. He would be first in line. Yes, one of them was a zombot but they were all together, right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Things were supposed to turn around for them from that point forward. Espio thought back to the small peck Vector snuck on his cheek before they entered the hangar, and how he told him that everything would be back to normal in no time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Espio didn't say anything but gave a stiff nod in return before pushing open the doors and entering the HQ. Despite Espio's lackluster response, Vector knew that small assurance was the only thing keeping his partner together at that point. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vector. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vector the fucking Crocodile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He always seemed to be one step ahead of Espio's own thoughts, reading his mind and body like it was made for him. When had Espio let himself get so vulnerable and unashamedly open to the croc? Even when he closed up tight, as tight as he tried, Vector was already pulling down the walls.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And it was exactly what Espio craved, deep down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vector was the boss. Vector was the one who called the shots and knew what direction to go in. Vector wasn't supposed to ever get hurt. It was unfathomable. Just impossible. He was able to brush off blows any bot or enemy threw at him like it was nothing. Though Espio supposed in this case, brushing off a hit was the same as taking one head on, or grabbing onto Charmy and holding him back from flying straight towards him. It all happened so fast.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Espio</span>
  </em>
  <span> was the one whose purpose was to serve the world selflessly. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He</span>
  </em>
  <span> was the one who was supposed to stop Charmy from getting to the others and sacrifice himself. Isn't that what he's been trying to convince Vector of for the last six months? </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He</span>
  </em>
  <span> was supposed to be the instrument of fate. Not Vector. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> Was the world spinning everything around to pull a cruel joke on him? Was he being punished for thinking he was destined for such a position? Was that why </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> was left uninfected while Vector and Charmy were taken down?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hypocrisy of Espio’s existence was a constant push and pull of the most ironic modesty fathomable. Thank you, Vector.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Espio, you're lead detective now."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He would never forget those words, drilling themselves into his existence and ripping out the last bit of hope he had left and leaving him in complete despair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That wasn't what he wanted. He didn't ask for this….did he?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Those words repeated in his head since he'd heard them, since he saw them leave Vector's lips. He could hear Vector's voice perfectly when he replayed them, along with that signature look on his face; the confident smirk paired with that cocky wink that Espio always rolled his eyes at. All before cold steel doors snapped shut and pulled the entire vision away from him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reliving his last moment with Vector always brought a deep remorse Espio didn't know his body was capable of. It made his bones physically </span>
  <em>
    <span>ache</span>
  </em>
  <span>, locking him into the frozen state he was in when he was there witnessing it. Espio didn't know what would have happened if Amy hadn't pulled him away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Would he have run after Vector? Or just knelt there and let the tears run freely down his face until the zombots broke through and consumed him.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>At least we would be together</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Espio's eyes suddenly widen the moment the thought passes through his mind, and his hand flies up to cover his mouth, as if afraid someone would hear it. With his heart hammering in his ears, he frantically looks around the room behind him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still alone. Still dark. Still empty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The residual panic of getting caught sinks to his stomach and starts to make Espio nauseated.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why would I wish that upon myself…? If the others knew I would give up so easily…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Espio gives his head a quick shake to rid the doubt. For the first time since losing Vector and Charmy, Espio is grateful he is alone. His arms move to wrap around himself, and he hunches his shoulders as he lets out a shuddered breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The moment those doors closed behind Vector and Charmy, Espio felt like a piece of his soul had been sealed on the other side with them. What remained was a large empty space in Espio’s heart, which left him feeling hollow and completely purposeless. He was a cold husk of nothing without them and their comforting auras. Espio tightens his hold around himself, trying to will any semblance of warmth to return. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What has he become?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was all his fault. He shouldn’t have let Vector convince him to bring Charmy back. It was his fault Charmy got infected. It was his fault he let him get away. His skill wasn’t enough in the most </span>
  <em>
    <span>important</span>
  </em>
  <span> moment when he needed it most.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vector was right. This whole time Espio preached and moaned about being some burdened protector, he was being selfish in a different way. Not for allowing himself to love Vector, but believing he was alone and </span>
  <em>
    <span>his</span>
  </em>
  <span> task alone to stay on track. It wasn’t until his partners were ripped away did he realize that they were what was supporting him the entire time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He should have seen himself starting to crumble when they first lost Charmy. Espio pulls in a sharp breath and squeezes his eyes shut, and his shoulders begin shaking while he cries silently. There were no more tears left, but every heaved breath hurt. How could he have been so blind?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon, they would be at Spiral Hill Village to search for any more lingering survivors. Espio felt the task was moot at that point, but he dared not speak out against the rest of the restoration crew. He will stay quiet, and follow orders. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That way no one would be able to see the cracks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Normally Vector was the only one who would be able to notice the signs, and would quickly step in to stop Espio from slowly capsizing in on himself. All things Espio wasn’t even aware he was doing while making the descent to reclusion, Vector was an expert on spotting. The way he held himself a little too rigidly, the way he broke eye contact just a tad sooner than usual, and even the curt edge that clung to his voice. Without someone to catch him, Espio was falling... and falling fast.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Espio was ashamed at how reliant he had unknowingly become on Vector and Charmy over the years and tries to steady his breath. His fingers feel numb as he forces himself to let go of his arms, and allows them to slip to his side. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He just had to meditate...gather his thoughts. Empty his mind. Yes...Perhaps Espio was looking at this the wrong way. An empty soul could help lead to some sort of...enlightenment…? If he managed to clear these thunderclouds from his head, that is. He smiles sadly to himself as his hand reaches up to his heart. Charmy would always look on the bright side of things, and without the bee Espio had to try and manage that on his own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With Vector… Espio’s eyes soften and he feels the smile faltering. Vector made him feel safe... safe to be himself. Espio was constantly at battle with himself, and he never put his walls down, not even for himself...but the croc was probably the only other person who started to allow Espio to do just that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>One half of Espio felt like he was trying to prepare himself to live without them, while the other felt… Espio didn’t know what.  It was hard to keep thinking about it, and he was exhausted constantly coming up with nothing in return. With a sigh, he moves away from the window and returned to the floor where he was sitting before. He knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep- such an awful state to be past the point of exhaustion. All there was left to do was close his eyes and try to let the engine’s hum seep in and suffocate the white noise.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please feel free to review, leave kudos, or drop any criticism. I'm just doing this for fun and I'm an amateur writer, so any pointers would be appreciated so I can learn to improve my work.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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